Thank you, dance.

Walking off stage after performing my favorite dance for the last time with my best friend. All the feels. 

I always knew I would be writing this post one day. My senior recital would be in the past, my costumes in my closet, my tights in their drawers, and my tears already shed. But sitting here now, I still cannot believe how fast this all went by.

Anyone that knows me has probably had to listen to more dance stories than they’ve ever wanted to hear. If I had a nickel for every time I said “I got this song from dance” or “My friends from dance…” or “One time at the studio…” I probably could have paid my dance bill myself. But it’s simply because I love to talk about the things I love. Just like I talk about Jesus, or my blog, or my friends, or Jamie Benn, I talk about dance. A lot.

Dance

I would say that dance, more so than anything else, has turned me into the person I am today. I have been dancing since I was three and a half, so I really haven’t known any life outside of dance. It’s become an escape for me. When I walk into class, for an hour (or three), I get to focus on my body and my emotions, not the 10000 things I have to do, or how scary and heartbreaking the world can often be. There is a song and a dance for any emotion I’m feeling, or just when I need to move my body.

Dance has taught me to be persistent. You can go days, or weeks, or months, working on the same trick and getting nowhere. You can choose to give up, or you can choose to tighten your ponytail and keep pushing. Dancers face a lot of heartbreak, whether they’re professional or not. Sometimes your friend gets the solo you wanted or you’re not in the class you wanted. It’s easy to focus on the opinions of others, but I’ve learned continue to dance because of the joy it brings me.

Dance has given me confidence. At some not so far away points in my life, I have absolutely hated my dancing. I surrounded myself with negative energy and negative people who led me to believe I wasn’t a good dancer. I have never been flexible, I have really bad hamstrings and knees that lock up, I can’t do 8 turns and I can’t contort my body in weird ways. It was easy to look around and think, I’m nothing special. And, more times than I care to admit, I did think that. But, through dance, I have learned to love myself, and love my body, and what I can do. I still can’t do 8 turns, but I can pick up hard, stylized choreography and I can tell a story with my body and I can make people feel emotions. Dance has helped me gain confidence in the studio, and outside in the real world.

Dance has taught me to love. The passion I have for dance is something some people won’t find in their life. There is nowhere I’d rather be than at the studio. The love I found for dance has taught me a lot about prioritizing and making time for the things that are important. Dance has been a love in my life that has kept me going, when nothing else has.

Dance has made me into the confident, driven person I am today, and for that, I’m so thankful.

Thank you, dance.

Hart Dance Academy

Of course, my love for dance would have never grown roots had my parents not chosen to drop me off at my first combo class fifteen years ago at Hart Dance Academy. Hart is my home. My love for dance is because of the community and family Hart provided. The jokes and references only Hart dancers understand will always have a special place in my heart. I’ll always remember the weird smell of feet and Taco Inn that is special to the green hallway, and I’ll always laugh at myself in old dances.

Three years ago, I was lucky enough to start assisting at Hart. For two years, I got to assist one of my favorite people, Debbie. Sometimes you just click with a person—that was Deb for me. We laughed and joked and she pushed me to be a better dancer and assistant. This year, I assisted my dance teacher and role model and friend, Jocey. Jocey helped me see my ability to teach younger dancers, which was something I didn’t see myself capable of. Assisting has let me share something I love so much with other younger dancers. I get to see dancers come into the studio in the fall, and leave a stronger and better person in the spring.

Hart has given me the best of friends. I’m at a loss for words trying to describe the friendships I’ve found at Hart. The girls I am lucky enough to be surrounded by every night at Hart are funny, driven, FLIPPIN’ TALENTED, smart, beautiful, and push me to be my absolute best. They are my favorite people in the whole world, and I am so glad God brought us together.

About 75% of who I am, I owe to the teachers at Hart. Each teacher I’ve had has taught me something different, yet equally important. I am so incredibly grateful they saw potential in me, and invested time in me, even when I’m sure I was a pain.

Recital

Just a few weekends ago, Hart put on their spring recital. This time, we were celebrating 30 years. Thankfully, I’ve been around for about half of them. This recital was so special and fantastic and magical and I couldn’t imagine a better senior recital.

The whole Rep group danced to the iconic Bohemian Rhapsody. I got to dance with all of my favorite people. The song was dynamic and so was the choreography. All the Rep seniors got to share a special moment on stage. It was exhausting. It was just really freaking awesome.

Before second semester, my ballet teacher and studio owner, Tracey, pulled me into her office and told me she would like me to join Company Ballet. Tracey has always rooted for me, and helped me see the good in myself. It meant so very much to me that she saw that potential in me, and it was a perfect ending to my senior year. We danced to The Promise, in honor of Tracey’s mother. To know that Tracey trusted me enough to be in that piece is powerful. It was just a simply beautiful and emotional piece that will always hold a place in my heart.

Teeth and Show Me helped me be sexy. (gasp!!! I said it!!) I don’t mean anything gross—they were just two dances that helped me feel empowered and confident, and that’s what being sexy is. Both of these dances were stylized and specific, and this year I think I was mature enough to really understand and nail the choreography. Those were two dances that I absolutely adored, and loved soaking in every second of on stage. I felt great and beautiful and confident, and that’s what being sexy really is about.

The City People was the dance I never knew I needed. This year, Hart was lucky enough to get Kate Heibel Majorins back to her dance home, and she was everything I needed in a teacher this year. This second semester was hard and exhausting for me, and Kate had to deal with a sluggish and emotional Hailey every late Thursday night. I was exhausted and cried a lot, but Kate pushed me and cherished me and always said exactly what I needed to hear. One night, after what had just been a really bad week, Kate recognized something was wrong, and just let me bawl to her. She was patient and listened and said so many things I needed. But what stuck with me most was when she said, “Hailey you just have to dance for yourself.” This is a lesson I’ve learned before, but had forgotten a bit this year, and Kate helped me remember it again. Every class was filled with choreography and lessons that helped me remember how much I love to dance. The City People was a dance that was just genuinely fun. It was just me dancing and goofing around with my friends and having fun. It was dancing.

This year I made the impromptu choice to take hip hop. Senior year, no regrets, right? I had a blast in this class, no matter how awkward I was, or how much better most of my friends were. I am so glad I took hip hop because it helped me remember to laugh at myself. I tried very hard in the class, but there were some things I just couldn’t understand or do. And that’s okay!!! Dance often times is about the effort and attitude more than the dancing. Hip hop helped me remember that you’re always a better dancer when you’re having fun. When I got on stage to perform my hip hop dance, I honestly just had a blast with my best friends and didn’t even worry about what people thought.

I’m incredibly proud of how far I came in tap this year. I started tap back up in eighth grade and it’s been a long and difficult journey. As a dancer, many things come naturally to me. Tap doesn’t. I’ve always known I’m not the greatest tapper, but I had fun and it challenged me, so I stuck with it. I was lucky enough this year to be in Company Tap with a bunch of my talented friends. To say I was intimidated is an understatement. And at first, I fell into my old thinking and let myself be a lazy and crummy tapper. But somewhere along the first semester, something changed. I am not sure why or how, but I just decided I was gonna be a better and more focused tapper. And it’s crazy—when I started really, genuinely trying I was actually kind of good! I could do stuff! I actually felt incredibly comfortable and confident with my tap piece this year, a feeling I hadn’t felt before. I’m thankful for my tapping career, and my very very very patient teacher, Deb, for helping me push myself beyond what I thought I could accomplish.

My other ballet piece, Pas de Future, meant a lot to me, because of what the dance meant to my teacher, Jocey. She’d been wanting to do this piece for over a year, and that passion showed in the brilliant choreography. To know that she trusted me and my peers enough with this dream piece of hers is an incredible feeling. The dance was difficult and challenging, but I wanted to do this amazing piece justice. Seeing the piece on stage, and finally getting to fully capture Jocey’s vision was a feeling I won’t soon forget.

For my senior feature, I got to dance with three of my best friends to a beautiful song with gorgeous costumes and absolutely stunning choreography. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express just how much Stay meant to me. Over these past few months, I’ve been dealing with the very scary feelings of leaving for college, and this dance helped me cope with those emotions. I got to dance with my best friends. My dance teacher, Aly, choreographed this routine. Aly has been such an impactful person in my life these past few years. She’s pushed me and been honest with me, and she’s helped me understand what it means to be a passionate and confident dancer. She’s been there for me through some hard stuff, just by being a source of consistency in my life—I always knew I could walk into her class on a Wednesday and Thursday, and leave the BS at the door, and just dance. I couldn’t imagine a more perfect person to choreography my senior special. Stay was the most special dance I’ve ever been a part of, and I will cherish it forever.

My senior recital was perfect. It was nothing like I imagined, and thank God, because it was so much better than that! Before the show, Aly reminded us to just soak up every second, because it will never be like that again. I may never dance with some of my best friends again (hopefully I will, one day) and that was hard truth for me to swallow. This recital was truly about just soaking in every second, every breath, every moment.

Ugly tears were shed, and lots of them. My time at Hart went by much too fast. I hope and pray this won’t be the end, and if I have anything to do with it, it won’t be.

I owe so much to Hart Dance Academy. To Aly and Tracey, thank you. Thank you for the community you’ve provided. Thank you for the potential you’ve seen in me. Thank you for your love and patience. Thank you for your choreography. Thank you for sharing your love of dance with me.

Thank you so much.

Let them praise his name with dancing. // Psalm 149:3

#dance #June2016