Be Present

I really struggled with choosing an image for this post. So many people, so many memories. But when I saw this picture, it made sense. Jen and I have just kind of ended up together a lot this summer and boy am I glad. Jen helps me remember to stop thinking and worrying so much, and to just be present. 

For Christmas, my dear friend Savannah gave me the most thoughtful gift: a memory jar for 2016, which I was just supposed to fill with memories from the year, both happy and sad.

Now, we’re more than halfway done with 2016 (I’m sorry, what?) and I’ve been filling the jar religiously with moments from the year, both happy and sad. A few days ago, I pulled out a few slips from earlier in the year, just out of curiosity. What struck me was how many of my memories were small moments, little things that probably wouldn’t mean much to someone else.

I didn’t put down Senior Skip Day as a whole but rather the moment my friend’s bubble gum popped all over his face on the way up, and I laughed my butt off. I didn’t write down prom, I wrote down dancing to Sandstorm with my best friends and driving around at 1:00 a.m. with my date, trying to find me a Diet Dr. Pepper. Ok, I did write down my senior recital as a whole, but I also wrote down performing my senior special with my best friends. I didn’t write down graduation, I wrote down walking into Pinnacle Bank Arena with my best friend by my side.

These small moments struck me. Why did I remember so vividly such small moments, even things like glances or laughs or someone holding my hand?

In these moments, I am present. I am so unbelievably genuinely happy.

This past year or so has been the best year of my life. I have been so incredibly happy. I’ve made amazing memories, and people have come into my life exactly when I needed them. I’ve laughed so hard. I’ve gone to incredible places. I’ve pushed and challenged myself to be better. I’ve just been really happy.

But this year has also been hard and stressful. I have cried into the wee hours of night and I’ve not wanted to get out of bed and I’ve been really, really scared and I’ve felt like I couldn’t get through the day. I’ve had my heart broken and I’ve failed and I’ve lost friends and I’ve had my heart broken again and I’ve said things I shouldn’t have said and I’ve messed up.

There have been very low lows, but they’ve been incredibly outweighed by very often and very high highs. This year I made a choice to not get weighed down by the hardships. I focused on being present and choosing to spend time with people that mean a lot to me. By being present, I was able to be truly, genuinely happy. It wasn’t that I wasn’t stressed and things weren’t hard—no, it definitely wasn’t that at all—but it was that I didn’t let those downs define me like I did in the past.

These little moments from my memory jar show how I’ve been so genuinely happy. Yes, I still have a thousand things to do on my To Do list, but in those moments, I’m allowing myself to be focused on the love around me.

That sense of presence is something I had been missing from my life. Last year, Jesus opened my eyes to how fast I was moving and how many opportunities I was missing to love the people around me. I was getting through life, but I certainly wasn’t living.

This year for my application to TCU, I had to write and explain my mission statement. I wrote that I wanted to focus every day on being more present. And so I did that.

Since I made that decision to be present, I’m truly living. So often, we thinking ‘living’ means skydiving and traveling to foreign lands and just doing things that would probably get a lot of likes on Instagram. But after this year, I think living just means loving really hard and letting yourself fully experience your emotions.

When we choose to be present, happiness will come to us. We will have time to catch little moments we might have otherwise missed. We will be able to notice details about the people around us that help us love a little more.

Being present will make us happier.

Being present makes us love.

Be present.

“Your people and these servants who continually serve you and get to listen to your wisdom are truly happy!” // 2 Chronicles 9:7

#July2016 #lessonslearned #relationships #worry